28th August
Retail Realizations

I always thought my father was crazy. You see, he had this strange notion running through his head that I must be different from all the other kids and, in a way, I was. I was different because of him, because of who he was. In all the towns and boroughs I’ve lived in he has been the power, the central focus. Because of this, everyone knew of me or had heard of me through him. Granted, this is the usual train of events until a child grows old enough to make a name for themselves yet in Camp Hill, I never could grow and make a name for myself. I was always living under his shadow, what he’d done and what he was doing now. It was always “Hey, your Ed Knittel’s boy aren’t ya?” Not, “Hey, your Chris Knittel right?” This is extremely stifling to a kid; you can’t truly grow up and find yourself living under that kind of a shadow. I couldn’t go out and have fun, take chances, be stupid, and learn to grow like everyone else. I had to find other ways and generally, I failed miserably.

Once I moved away to college, I finally found my venue. I could begin making a name for myself in a place completely unassociated with my parents. Finally things started happening not because of my father and his name, but because of what I was doing. I got into Drexel based upon my abilities. I got my co-op based upon my abilities and I got my job at Staples, based upon my abilities but he still had his influence.

Remember how I said my father wanted me to be different from all the other kids, better in some respects? Well, he always drove me to do things differently, to see with different eyes. Because of this, he’d always set me up with some really odd jobs. At age twelve I was doing construction full time with a crew during the summer. Age thirteen I started mowing yards and didn’t stop till I went to college. During that time I worked at the school, the borough offices, and even at car washes. Almost always doing cheap, menial labor which was of the most back breaking sort; I hated every minute of it. Now, after working these past few months at Staples, I finally see the wisdom in my father’s stance.

Every job I’ve worked as brought a new understanding about myself and my capabilities. I’ve learned patience, responsibility, new skills and talents, and how to deal with people. The last is the most important, the critical part. Yes, I’ve learned how to deal with people in a professional setting, as business partners and in the seller-to-buyer model and that’s a great asset but I’ve learned more. I’ve learned how to deal with people on an individual basis, as people. One could almost say, I’ve learned respect. After working some of the worst jobs you can find out there (granted I could have stopped and said hey Im done at any point) I can understand and respect each new job I have. I can thank god that I have what I have and whats more, I can respect the people working at say Walmart or McDonalds. Before, I looked down on them, felt they were beneath my level. After working at Staples for the past three months, I see that it’s the common outlook. People think that service people are beneath their level, and its sickening. Maybe more parents should be like my father but I know they never will be. Its too hard on the kids, too difficult to get through but we do have a name for the people who come into a store and treat people like shit: cows. You see, we used to say peasants but that was too good. A peasant could pick up after themselves and treat others with respect. A cow will never pick up after itself, is dirty, smelly, and stupid. It has no respect, no intelligence and will never, ever amount to anything. Yet it always holds its nose up at you, always is above the rest. Yes, the vast majority of people in this world are cows. I weep for us, don’t you?

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10th August
The Graduation Speech

I did not write this and I don’t think I ever could write this well. Its the graduation speech we’ve all wanted to hear but no one had the balls to say. This is the send off from a liberal college to kids who no longer have the coddling of college but instead face the fears and freedoms of reality. Its real, take it from someone who knows:

Do not accept it, ladies and gentlemen. And do not spread it like the plague that it is. Stop tolerating, and start understanding. Ask questions, and listen to the answers. Explain yourself, and listen to explanations. And avoid the simple, gated, picket-fenced sidewalk of tolerance and move down the rocky, shaky, strenuous path of understanding.
- Lance Arthur

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A Musings of Principals

Have you ever been filled with the desire to accomplish something knowing that you will never even start on it? Thats how I feel tonight, consumed with the desire to write (whether on here or somewhere else). Its a problem with me, always wanting or needing to start something but never getting around to it. I’ve wondered if there’s something wrong with me, besides some strange fear of failure, which prevents me from writing.

Yet, I look at this site and others out in the blogsphere and I realize that, thankfully, I’m not alone in this respect. Here at Tealart we have horrible luck with finding people who will help write on this site and fill its silent, vast halls. Its starting to get disappointing that people won’t write. Maybe though, its our fault. Are we looking for the wrong type of people? We’re too consumed with finding people who think similiarly to us and who have crystal clear writing styles. Are we forgetting one of the main draws of a weblog? To take something you enjoy, writing, and either share it with the world or just increase your own capabilities through repetition.

You look at the reasons most people start writing, atleast through the online community, and its generally out of love or a desire to make themselves better. The basic principals of humanity is a driving force behind the blog community and Sam and I are, I think at times, ignoring that fact. We want a site that has thoughts worthy of exploration and identification but too many adults don’t want to go that route. Too many teenagers are too consumed in their own idealistic hells to escape. I want someone to write with and I’m beginning to feel its not there. Maybe its impossible to have a group website that develops as we wish. Maybe there’s a reason why most of the strong, developed weblogs are individuals.

I hope we’re just looking in the wrong places actually. Because otherwise it means that what we’re doing and hoping for is wrong and that would be a painful impact. Haha, the dreams of a website shattered. Is that sad?

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