My Slice of Reality,

In less than twelve hours, I start my third and final semester of the year at Drexel University. So far, I’ve had it pretty freaking easy. The hardest classes I had to take where the mathematics based ones, and I knew I’d struggle with those. Yet, they were manageable primarily because I had such a light load in all the other classes; I never really was challenged in the first two semesters. I became complacent and, my grades show it. I could easily be an A student as long as I’m challenged, but I wasn’t and so I carried a low B.

This semester is different though, I maxed out the possible credits one is allowed to take during a given period. 20 credits spread out over a variety of courses – four Information Systems classes, one Computer Science course, Humanities, Psychology, and the infamous Math. It’s a loaded schedule and on top of all the classes I’m working almost twenty hours a week at my job. Can I do it? Can I handle a load that is sure to burn out just about anyone?

Your damn right I can, and to prove all you naysayer wrong I will. I’ve always worked my best under stress, with a workload that few think is manageable. I did it all through high school, pursuing tons of extra-circular events that I shouldn’t have done if I wanted to excel in school. Where most other kids wouldn’t dare tread or even collapsed under the weight, I managed to come out doing quite well in everything. I just pray that it carries through in college, where the teachers don’t really care about us students as long as they get paid. It’ll be more challenging, that is for sure, but it’s possible.

All this comes in a time when I feel myself changing, feel myself identifying with things and ideals that I didn’t understand or merit before. Indeed, my own views of myself and the world around me have changed. I’m more confident, more aware of what I need to do to get happiness in my life instead of striving solely for other people’s happiness. Most of all I’ve realized that yet again I defy convenient definition, which has caused Sam a constant, never ending headache. Sorry mate, it’ll all work out and settle down in the end.

So I guess this is just a little status update as to what’s happening in my world, even if it’s an obscurely worded one. For once there’s a change occurring in my life that I’m aware of and more importantly, accepting of. Here’s to the spring and all the change it brings.

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An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.Aldous Huxley

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You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly, tooJohn Kenneth Galbraith

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You know what’s interesting about Washington? It’s the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.George Bush

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When one person dies, that person’s entire world - their whole universe - vanishes for them. A cosmos is snuffed out and quenched. An individuals death then, essentially, involves the death of an entire universe. Does it not?Ian Watson

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Computers frustrate me. One minute all seems to be working, the lights flash in a beautifully syncopated rhythm on the front of the case, signifying that all is well. Then suddenly, out of no where error messages flash and hours upon hours of work is lost in one moment of sheer hell. Oh, but Microsoft was so kind to include an error message that is incredibly helpful in decoding what the problem was. Wait, what? You mean that message wasn’t helpful? How about this one? Provides much more detail doesn’t it?

So this is the world I’ve entered into, one of messages that belay nothing but a complete and utter lack of understanding by the programs, and one of even less understanding by the users. Say something breaks on a users machine where they suddenly lose hours upon hours of work (now doesn’t this sound familiar?), who do you think they’ll blame? The software maker? Hardly, its the IT staff who gets hell! It matters not that we did nothing more than hookup your computer when it first rolled out of the corrugated box, clean of adware and supposedly crash proof from Dell. Its your fault, simple because your number is the one the user has memorized. How joy! Another day of tech support hell, break out the martinis!

I apologize - I’m experiencing just the tiniest bit of frustration at the moment in regards to computers and I hope you’ll bare with me. It will improve, within a few moments, once this computer is sent on an ellipsis course out of my window!

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I’m not the best writer and I suppose, no matter how long I spend working on my skills, I ever will be. I’ve always enjoyed my writing though, whether it was a pointless, school assigned essay, or a little ditty for my own enjoyment; it’s all therapeutic. While I enjoy my writing many of my English teachers have not enjoyed it, often giving it horrible marks and reviews. This was always strange to me, for when I had other students or adults read it outside of a school environment, they loved it. Told by students and peers that my writing is great, while those who give it the grade say it sucks, can you see the problem? What’s wrong with this picture?

To put it bluntly, “[my] grammar sucks.” Thanks to the advent of spell checkers in programs like Word and WordPerfect, grammar has quickly replaced spelling as my worst characteristic. My use of the comma and semi-colon leave much to be desired, seeming to be placed almost willy-nilly throughout my writing. Teachers hate that and are quick to give me bad marks for this perceived slander to the English language. I agree that I should be given those marks, for they are trying to teach me the semantics of the language, the precise usage rules and requirements to write “well.”

Yet, these teachers fail to understand one thing. I will never desire to be an English teacher and I don’t wish my writing to be used to teacher other students, years down the line when I’m old and grey, how to write and use proper punctuation and grammar structures. I don’t care about that, I write because I love to write. I love putting my thoughts and words down to paper and having people read it and go, hmmmm. My writing is based around the emotion I have, the emotions I want to convey, and for that my structure meets no real rules. Instead, its more of a free form, a meandering of my mind if you will.

That’s the primary difference between Sam and me in our writings, one he comments on quite often. He writes as someone who wishes to get published in a magazine (or has been), and I write more as someone who writes for their own website, a personal introspection which others might stumble upon. I can’t really say that my style is better than his, for its just our own personal styles, each has their place and each excels in their own way. I just wish teachers would take a bit more understanding in this instead of being so quick to judge a work upon whether a comma and a colon are in the right places. They might find that more people will begin to love their writings for what they are, an expression of self.

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Anyone with half a brain must see that Saddam has to be taken out. It is extraordinarily ironic that the anti-war protesters are marching to defend a government which stops its people exercising that freedom.

The Realizations of a Human Shield

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One way or another, every relationship must end. There’s no such thing as a lifetime guarantee. Its like refusing to enjoy watching the sun rise because you hate to see it set.Irvin D Yalom

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http://www.boysetsfire.comA great underground band with ripping guitar cords and sweeping lyrics. The story behind the lead singers “coming out” is worth the read itself.

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